Perhaps it was rather a fortuitous situation for me to have my favorite spectacles, a pair of ghostly, crystal-clear Nike frames, fall off my face over the weekend during a morning rush to get to the CrossFit box.  To my horror, they broke at the nose bridge causing me to phone my local optical shop on Capitol Hill first thing Monday morning to make an appointment with the one and only, Wizard of Eyes.

The Wizard’s earliest availability is Wednesday at 2pm?

I’ll take it!

When I came to see the Wizard, I awaited his audience patiently in the waiting room overlooking the vast turrets and towers of carefully placed artisanal glass – selections of eyewear only to be found in Oz, the domain of the Wizard.  He uttered my name authoritatively, but in a kind manner inviting me to take a seat in his grand court, which contained a large mirror revealing myself in a light I wasn’t familiar with (sunlight is rare in Seattle) alongside a computer at his desk.  I’d sat here before over a year ago when he fitted me for a pair of completely different frames from ghostly crystal – a set of black Elvis Costello type eyeglasses or what he called ‘Capitol Hill Geek Chic’ except with the lower half of the frames colored in a light brown tortoise shell, highlighting what he convinced me was one of my greatest assets – eyes of hazel coloring that carried a storied look of warmth, mystery and the wisdom of an old soul.

Could you wrap that compliment in a box and remember to have me open it when I’m having a bad day?

 

“How are you Victor?  What are we doing for you today?”

I placed the coffin (or eyeglass case) of the dead pair of ghost frames in front of him.  The Wizard began to exam them in his particular way.  Looking to see where the break occurred and troubleshooting to figure out what we could do to bring my poor Nike frames back to life, I wore a look of concern on my face explaining how these clear lenses were “half my personality”; sort of optimistic, techie, do-it-yourself, start-up minimalist.

 

“But you know, these Geek Chic frames have brought all the boys to the yard!  It’s like with this nerdy look, I started attracting different kinds of guys.  And I think I’ve been kind of living up to this look – kind of more bookish, writerly, calculating and thoughtfully reserved.”

 

The Wizard grinned as I advocated about how I desperately needed to get my other frames repaired because otherwise I’d only attract one kind of guy with the one set of frames I had remaining – words which were playfully ridiculous and we both knew it.  Then again, the Wizard and I could speak these types of curiosities with each other because we’d built up that rapport previously – it wasn’t my first trip down the yellow brick road of Pike St.

 

A bit about the Wizard of Eyes: my delightful, just under six-foot tall, white, gay optician, who although 30 years my senior, is incredibly hip, fashion-forward and “with it” when it comes to working with guys like me.

“It’s been awhile Victor, what have you been up to?”

 

While he was looking up product codes to try and re-order a nose bridge replacement I talked about the writing I’ve been doing for my blog or rather the combination of writer’s block and recent sunny days we’ve had in Seattle, which have kept me from putting out the stories I’ve been wanting to write, though I knew the personal accounts shared with me by fans intimately well and had drafts of multiple posts already written up, just not completed.  I suppose it’s because I hadn’t been wearing the geek chic frames as often as a writerly guy should ;P

 

So with that we moved into a dialogue about a priest friend of his who writes for HuffPo, how I should consider submitting my work to Gay Voices and the polarizing commentary of Dan Savage (who I actually don’t follow) alongside the Wizard’s contrasting stance to the Savage take on polyamorous relationships – the Wizard is not downtown like Julie Brown, mmmkay?

 

Things got fairly interesting and especially poignant when the Great and Powerful actually made himself a bit vulnerable sharing with me a story about his lover, who is 30 years his junior, when I told him I was working on a piece for Father’s Day – something about Daddy-Boy relationships and/or a DILF I know.

 

“I’m actually the Daddy in my relationship, Victor.”

“Oh… total Chickenhawk!”

The Wizard touched his nose and winked at me.

 

He continued talking about meeting his now husband about nine years ago – he was 53 years old and LoverBoy was 23.  There were a variety of reasons he didn’t think it would work out – namely that his young beau wasn’t OUT like he was and denied being who he truly was.  I followed the Magical One as he reflected on being previously married to a woman and then getting into a relationship with another man who was the exact same personality – essentially making the same mistake twice, but with someone of the same sex just before he met his current husband.

 

He typed on the computer as he told me intricate details of breaking up 16 times in 8 months with LoverBoy in addition to a fabulous Las Vegas trip he had taken with his younger beau for six days.

 

We were having trouble finding a replacement for my frames because I had got them so long ago, so he got up and slid a panel revealing an alternate pair of clear frames we would make work for my nose bridge.  Taking some measurements and construction detail of my drill mounts we figured we could use the hardware from the different pair – I agreed to his enchanted suggestion in which he would send my frames to some fairies in Los Angeles who would work their mystic powers.  And just like that, in about two weeks, poof!  They’d be fixed!

What followed after that point was where the real magic came in the land of Oz.

 

Two things:

1) He affirmed the value of counseling which he had personally gone through to try and resolve why he kept choosing partners not right for him.  The Wizard may be all knowing, but this was one area he did not have knowledge of on his own.  In the end, he figured it out.

2) He agreed with me on writing down what your ideal partner looks like.  This was part of a post I wrote in January 2013 called 10 Resolutions for Better Dating in 2013 where I suggested to Write Him Down!

 

The combination of counseling and writing down what your ideal man looks like led him to share with me the take-away that absolutely blew my mind.

 

“Victor, not only do you have to write what your ideal guy and relationship looks like, but you must also describe in vivid detail what you look like and act like when you are in your ideal relationship, when you are most happy, authentic and carefree.”

Whoa!  I did not see that coming – the Wizard is a schoolteacher as well droppin’ mad science on me!

The Wizard gave me examples of his ideal self behaving in situations –

• having his partner put his arm around him affectionately without having to think that his partner would have an ulterior motive doing that
• being able to sit in a room with his lover and feeling absolutely comfortable being silent with him without a sense of needing to speak and feeling there was something wrong because they weren’t talking.

 

His words resonated with me as he adjusted my geek chic glasses, wiped them down and placed them precisely on my ears.

 

I could see clearly.

 

There was a reason for me to come here today –

The Wizard of Eyes helps me see the natural world clearly with the frames and lenses he dispenses, but he has also helped me reframe an area I’d been missing in my own practice of writing what that ideal relationship is like – who I’d be / what I’m like in it.  In essence, he made more clearly a new perspective for me.

 

I returned home to my flat at the Emerald City Manor up the street, specifically in the Tin Woodman’s shed pondering what great things I’d learn in two weeks when I come to pick up my revived crystal frames.

 

What I know for sure – although the Great and Powerful Wizard works in Seattle, he’s not of the House of Emeralds.  Rather, like the ruby red shoes of Dorothy, the Wizard is a gem of red warming brilliance.