I recently moved to a new apartment.  I was very content in my former place having been a renter for over three years there, but I was stagnating.  Although I kept my place fairly neat, I felt I was beginning to collect a ton of junk.

As in any move, one has to start packing and figuring out what they want to keep and what they could do without.  In this particular apartment I had three relationships over the course of just over three years.  Not only do relationships carry with them some level of emotional baggage after separation –  there are real, physical objects, which you end up acquiring through the course of those interactions either through gift giving to one another in addition to one’s boyfriends leaving stuff in one’s house.

 

Some guys have the practice that once they break up (or are broken up with), they collect all of their ex-boyfriend’s stuff so they are no longer reminded of them and do one of three things:

1)   Return it to the Ex-BF (or have him pick it up)

2)   Throw it in the garbage

3)   Have an Office Space moment a la ‘PC Load Letter’ complete with baseball bats and perturbed attitudes (can be great therapy).

 

 

Either way, the point is to get it all out of the home so they are no longer reminded of the affair – moving forward with no physical trace of the guy who once was their special boo.

 

In my case, I usually go with Option 1 opting to allow the person to get their stuff because in most cases there is some value to those goods… plus I’m just not like that.

 

During my packing process I picked up certain objects, stared at them for a second then tried to remember who gave it to me and why I still had it.  And as I mentioned before in my post, Look Who’s Not Coming to Dinner… But Coming With Presents, I’ve had a lot of sweet BFs who’ve been stellar gift givers just like me, so throwing stuff away wasn’t always appropriate, especially if we ended on good terms.

Here’s a couple of the items I still keep from my Exes:

1) Coffee Maker (4-cup)

Peter bought this for me during a neighborhood garage sale by his parents’ home.  It was unused with an asking price of $5.  He offered $2… “Sold!”.  It reminds me of a time when he got a little hard-nosed and actually negotiated something for my benefit instead of taking the first price.  Also, a 4-cup coffee maker is just perfect for my morning caffeine needs.

 

2) Santa Claus Ornaments

George bought these handmade Santa Claus ornaments during our trip to Puerto Vallarta only one-month into dating.  I have this annual tree-cutting event where my significant other (when applicable) and friends don our most rugged of flannel and head out to the tree farm to cut down our Christmas trees.  As George lives on a boat, he didn’t necessarily have the space for a tree, but bought both of the ornaments so that we each had one and could enjoy the tree together.  I’m building up a collection of these little figurines.

 

3) Book: Joy of Gay Sex

Peter and I were at an annual ‘Friends of the Library’ Book Sale when he came across this alphabetical illustrated encyclopedia of sex and related terms in gay culture.  Needless to say, we both expanded our knowledge in a couple of areas alphabetically speaking:

A is for Asphyxiation (pre-orgasm)

F is for Fetish (examples of)

G is for G-Spot (male)

H is for Hanky Code

L is for Leather

S is for Safety Word and S&M

W is for Water Sports

Guests come by my place and still pick it up to peruse the glossary with the drawings of the guys who are pierced and tattooed.  I find it to be a fun little icebreaker when I have a guy over for the first time, though it’s usually tucked away in my bookshelf.

 

4) Candle Holders

Weston was very in-tune to my sensitivity to smells and observed I was always burning a candle with whatever flavor of the week: green tea and ginger, cotton, basil and mint.  He thoughtfully gave me some very beautiful candleholders, which are fashioned in earth tone ceramics.  I think they give the place some warmth and now I “set the mood” whenever I have a guy over (or guests).  Different moods though… way different 😉

 

5) Cast-Iron Dutch Oven

I discovered how to make a very simple bread recipe from one of Peter’s friends who showed me how to make a no-knead recipe from flour, salt, yeast and water using a Dutch Oven.  Occasionally, I get into my homemaker househusband modes and literally put buns in the oven, which friends have called artisanal creations.  I keep this kitchen staple because it reminds me how Peter supported one of my passions in life whenever I make one of my winning breads.

 

Of course, there’s a lot of other stuff that I’ve tossed from exes, which I dare not keep in my household.  This includes their old, bacon-y underwear and holey socks, ratty undershirts as well as books they gave me to read (which I won’t) and their stupid CDs… I know Alanis Morissette is a good singer/songwriter, but not for me.  Also, one thing I definitely don’t keep is typically the first object they leave at my place, a toothbrush – gross and gone.

 

Have you done any house cleaning lately with the things you’ve acquired from your exes?  Do you still hang onto stuff for the wrong reasons?  Don’t wait until your next move to clean out the cobwebs.  I’m sure if you take a stab at it, you’ll find it quite therapeutic – the time is now for removing the clutter and weight of the past.