In a sea of beards, plaid and all that’s rad I found myself at the Paramount on Saturday night for one of the most highly anticipated shows of Seattle’s own, The Head and the Heart, rockin’ it for a crowd that was ACTUALLY ready to do more than just nod their heads in unison when they caught a chorus or base line that fit their groove.   Eerily it seemed the band played what could be the soundtrack to my life as I unabashedly jumped up and down when the melody “Lost In My Mind” boomed from the stage.  I became a bit more introspective as the deeply emotional “Rivers and Roads” whispered softly to my ear causing me to think about paths I perhaps could have instead taken in life.

Indeed, the vibe was sincere and genuine with the folks I met this evening whom I felt a kinship with on some level – beyond the obvious fact we had patterns on our shirts that looked to be cut from the same cloth.

“I like the one on the right.  He seems sweet and honest with his voice – he can serenade me any day.”

“Oh, for me, it’s the one in the middle.  He’s kind of angry and full of fire… and I need someone to smack me up a bit.  You know, the brooding-type.  I need someone who’s aggressive.”

“Well, the one on the right could be my boyfriend… because I AM THE FIRE in the relationship.”

An overheard conversation I’m able to hear amongst the crowd between two guys who I can’t quite tell are friends or maybe more as my party reclines toward the back part of General Admission.  Both are probably in their late 20s or early 30s.  One of them taller, perhaps just about six-feet, medium build and of Caucasian descent with brown hair – the sleeves of his plaid shirt partially rolled up revealing a hairy set of forearms I briefly imagine wrapped around me as the song in the air reaches the end of a verse.  His friend is just a couple inches shorter, black of hair, wider in stance, but absolutely stacked and shredded nearly popping out of his black tee with a thick neck that had traps solidly built into his broad shoulders.  I can’t quite tell what his family’s heritage is – olive skin tone, almond eyes with a mustache-beard combo that just doesn’t quite connect at the sides of his mouth.  I’m going to guess French Canadian or European mixed with Asian.

Handsome?  Exceedingly.

Emotional available?  Let’s find out.

Incited within me are thoughts about the dynamics a person has in a relationship with their lover/romantic partner.  Who takes on certain roles?  Who “wears the pants” for that matter.

What stood out for me the most upon hearing that exchange was the self-awareness each guy was able to communicate that indicated:

1. They knew who they were

2. Who complemented them

3. Why it made sense for them to be paired (hypothetically) with one singer personality over another.

Simple – yes.

But just like how the two very attractive, very scruffy yet unique male vocalists of the Head and the Heart sang their specific parts of each song – melody and harmony, that memorable evening, so too can we complement our partners or notice what works when a relationship is going well.

Guitars begin to strum and my heart drops… I just love the honesty of this “Down In The Valley” tune where the “angry one” is now singing about being a slave to an age-old trade.

“Lord have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways.” He croons next.

If he’s really the angry one maybe he’d be just the right fit for Forearms who is okay with getting a smack here and there.  I won’t go into the press that went out about one very unfortunate situation because I Heart the band and for some – anger and fieriness are key parts of passion, which is something I believe we all should have in a healthy dynamic.

As we think about our own needs and continue to meet new men who are friends, lovers and somewhere in between, keeping a perspective on our roles can help us quickly determine whether or not we are on stage with the right person.

What Part Do You Play In Your Relationship now?  Who do you want to be?  We press forward and wait til’ we’re cast in our next production.

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts…”

-William Shakespeare